Birthday Month Announcement!

It’s my birthday month and that means YOU get a present! I’m launching a podcast!!!

Okay it was very docuhey of me to suggest that that’s a present for you, it probably more of a present for me, but the present isn’t that I’m starting a podcast, the present is that I’m releasing myself from my own expectations of perfection, even if polish. I’m launching a podcast but I make no promises that it’ll be good and I’m okay with that.

I’ve talked in the past about starting a podcast and haven’t actually gotten it off the ground for two main reasons, I was tired and I was scared. And by scared I mean suffering from debilitating imposter syndrome. What if it’s bad? What if I’m not good at it or the quality doesn’t sound podcasty enough? What if I can’t get compelling guests or I say the wrong thing? What if it’s stupid of me to even consider this? What if I’m just not good enough.

And by tired I mean grieving. After my mom died I greatly overestimated myself, even when I thought I was having grace with myself. And every time I felt confident that I had the capacity to invest more in my online spaces and build up those communities and carve out a spot for myself in your podcast rotation I was hit with the undeniable reality that I was still operating on reserve power and that that power was a dwindling resource.

I don’t know what shifted but I think I’m just sick of doubting myself. And I think that, while I’m still grieving, I’m also entering a broader season of reclamation as part of that grief. See it wasn’t just my mom passing that I was grieving. I was also grieving the loss of a certain hope where my relationship with my mother was concerned. I’ve also been grieving what was taken from us by our years in Kentucky and the pastors who spent that time mentally and spiritually abusing us. I’ve been grieving the loss of a friendship, the loss of my faith, the loss of my sense of self, and honestly so many other things that I couldn’t see  individually for a long time because they all got swept under the big banner of LOSS. And after having been able to identify a lot of these griefs and begin working through them, I want to talk about them.

No I’m not starting a podcast about grief, I’m starting a podcast about life and growth and discovery. The format will be very conversational, the idea behind the podcast is that so much love, and growth, and discovery happen in authentic, vulnerable conversation. The times I have felt the strongest sense of that way we’re supposed to feel in church, I have felt in that sort of conversation, over a meal or over a fire or a car ride. I think we all come to the table with something to offer and something to gain and I love that richness in conversation! So I want to have those conversations with people who have something to teach me and who hopefully will learn something from me too, and I hope that by listening you’ll also get something.

The podcast is coming but in the meantime here are some ways to help make my birthday month a little happier!

One - follow me across platforms. Lord knows when tiktok will go and that’s currently my biggest platform, so if you want to keep up with me follow me on the Bird App and the Picture App

Two: sign up for my newsletter! It’s once a month (right now) and this month it’s all about reclaiming what made me a manic pixie dream girl.

And three, this one is optional: birthday wishlist

I can’t wait to show you everything I’ve been working on, and hey if you have ideas for guests let me know!!